Potomac Authors Demystify Sex and Intimacy for Women with Cancer

The number is chilling. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. That means hundreds of thousands of women will be treated for the disease each year.

Although treatment saves many lives, it usually has a life-altering impact. For some breast cancer survivors, dealing with the emotional scars may be far worse than dealing with the physical trauma.

According to Ralph and Barbara Alterowitz, authors of The Lovin' Ain't Over for Women with Cancer and founders of The Center For Intimacy After Cancer Therapy, Inc. in Potomac, readjustment to everyday living is often difficult. Their new book takes a holistic approach to creating a good sex life for women living with cancer.

"It recognizes that a strong sense of self, and good communication between the partners, are essential to a happy and satisfying sexual experience," the authors wrote in their new book.

The couple, residents of Potomac, have worked at the intersection of cancer, quality of life and intimacy for 15 years and are internationally recognized “go-to” experts on intimacy and sexuality.

The loss of self-esteem and a sense of identity can be as devastating to some women as the loss of her breasts and hair, Ralph Alterowitz said. And adding the anxiety about cancer recurrence, as well as coping with the tasks of everyday living, makes resuming life and relationships very difficult.

The change that can occur—feeling damaged or defective—can compel a woman to distance herself from her partner and from intimacy and sexual activity, according to the authors. The book "will provide you with the tools to overcome the considerable difficulty that cancer treatment can create for your love life," they wrote.

The Lovin’ Ain’t Over for Women with Cancer can be viewed as a guide to better living by making informed choices regarding your relationships as well as considering one's choices during treatment.

"Helping women know about the effects of cancer treatment, how to recover her self-esteem, how to talk with her partner, and how to rebuild her relationship, gives women tools and options for creating her plan for living again," the authors wrote.

Alterowitz said that the couple's interest in sexuality after cancer came following his diagnosis and treatment for prostate cancer in 1995. Along with many men, he found that the treatment for prostate caused sexual dysfunction. Alterowitz and his wife responded by immersing themselves into a world of survivors and support groups.

Afterward, they learned that the undocumented and misunderstood topic for prostate cancer survivors was sex. Ralph went on to co-found the National Prostate Cancer Coalition and followed that with the couple's first book, The Lovin' Ain't Over: The Couples Guide to Better Sex After Prostate Disease. It was the first book written on the subject and is considered to have brought the topic of sexual intimacy—once considered taboo—after cancer out into the open.

Dr. Joycelyn Elders, M.D., a former surgeon general of the United States, wrote in the book that she thought it would be a valuable guide for women with cancer. In an excerpt from the book's foreword she wrote, "Whoever you are and no matter what your situation may be, you will be able to find yourself in this book."